de lovely
How could you make a straight guy fall for you? Flirt with him? Give him gifts? Pay for his drinks or movie pass?
This is not too sweet. Perhaps it would be better f he’d fall for you without anything material involved. But then love won’t be expressed or be given equal as you give and look for it. I like him, and he can’t be mine. This is my fate. Fate is one thing you can’t change I guess. Fate is shit sometimes.
This is about the guy I wrote about with my item ‘April’s fool’. He’s gone now. He left the office. Now there’d only be luck for us to meet again. No I can’t ask him out, which would be too thick. We exchange sms from time to time though. Nothing extravagant about the conversations, but it really really makes me great.
I like him a lot. And my liking of him is not a secret to him already, I think. Not that I’ve told him I like him, but I possibly suggest deep craze of him whenever we’re together or just exchange sms or talk over the phone. He knows it. I know.
There’d be no way he’d ask me to be his. What is present now is all there is. It would definitely end; hope it’s not too soon. And conceivably no better future with this one, I hope there is.
Still, thank God we met.
Sometimes, to be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
jan's blah blah @
6:22 PM