0 blatant me

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this is me. well, not that much.

blatant me
my share of psychosis to the world. bite me.
Saturday, July 31, 2004

a beer blow up
i am single. the thing is i dunno why. yes, my choice, and yes, no one is available for me. too bad.
i've been single for the past year now. i can say i am enjoying it. but it seems the two bottles of strong beer that I befriended minutes ago has exactly hit my soft spot. and now i'm thinking why i'm still single.
the past month i dated a guy younger than me. the chemistry wasn't good. it's like i'm always at rage of comments whenever we're talking. yes we had sex and it was great. i just don’t dig in the childish attitude i guess.
before him was this guy from another island who's been available for me months now. the problem is he's far from me. he always calls me, even sent me gifts on package. he's sweet yes. and he's still around, telling the world he's ready to take the chance for me like barry manilow. yet again he's not here. he's not near. long distance relationships are not my thing anymore. i mean i tried then when my ex-boyfriend and i were still together. he has his place here in manila and goes home to their province on occasions. i had my time with him and though i didn't liked the situation of being away with each other on long times i strived to keep the relationship till it ended. i just don't want to live it up again.
a few men also got my attention. still i didn't splurged to their offers.
i prefer to be courted. i find it more amusing to my senses. some didn't like the idea and just pop out of the scene, while others stay, till they're dumped. but to be fair i tell them as early as i can that they have to stop courting. i tell you men, though gay or bisexual, find this more challenging. so they continue till be dumped again and again. and then there were men i tell to stay and just continue. and if the time comes i can't help myself i tell them what i feel and so the relationship starts. however circumstances occur and relationships reach their waterloo.
all the same the main question of the quiz show remains, why am i single.
i'm 24, with a stable job, great friends, nice family, and no love life. and is it lacking? yes you rodent.
the thing is i am good on telling relationship/life lessons. for all the time i’m a recognized sage on counsels and opinions. am i better off as a friend?
i don’t wanna get old alone taking care of a bunch of cats.
but the hopes are high. and it would remain high. there will be this person who has a heart as big as mine who'd be at my side till the medical machines gave up on me. pleasant to believe he's looking for me right now, but hey, that's the spirit.
and i won't be tired of looking, or watching out for him, until he'd ask me to be his.

jan's blah blah @ 1:31 AM

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